Tips for Making Good Use of Therapy

Have you ever wondered how to make good use of your therapeutic time and space? In my 8 years as a therapist, I’ve realized sometimes clients need a little help to figure out how therapy works or how to use the space well. There’s a lot of room for exploring what you specifically need or want from therapy, but here are a few things I’ve noticed can contribute to therapy being what you need it to be:

1. Take time before the session.
   Even if it’s just 3-5 minutes, take a little bit of time before a session to notice what you’re bringing in or what you want to focus on, what kind of support you need. If there’s a lot coming up in a session, sometimes I’ll ask a client, “If there’s only one thing we accomplish in our time together today, what would it be?”

2. Express yourself!
   For me to have something to respond to in a session, a client needs to express. Talk about things so we can process and reflect together. Bring me into your thoughts, feelings, sensations, experiences. I need to get at least a peek into your internal world in order to get a sense of what support it needs, how it works, what the vulnerabilities or patterns are. 

3. Allow yourself to set the agenda for the session.
   As a therapist, I’m cautious about setting the agenda for my clients. I want to hear what they need or want from our time. Don’t be afraid to let a therapist know when you actually want to talk about another thing. I love when my clients let me know they have something in mind for our time. I’ve had clients even begin the session by listing off the various things on their mind to talk about, which allows me to help us prioritize these things and help manage our time. 

4. Do you need something to help you transition out of the therapy hour?
   I try to be mindful of my client’s mental state as we start to close our time together, but I don’t always get it right, or I might lose track of our time. It may be worth considering if there is any additional support you’re needing from the therapist or the time before you head out into the rest of your day. We could close with a grounding practice, set an intention for our next session, find the reassurance you need, or identify other people or supports you can turn to. 

5. Jot a few things down after the session.
   Some of my clients like to make note of their takeaways, reminders, or practices from our sessions to return to. If it helps to remember what we talked about or what you’d like to be mindful of, consider taking a few notes in the few minutes after the session. Pause in your car or at your desk (if telehealth) to make a few notes. I know this helps me remember things I want to circle back to.

6. Consider how you might take care of yourself and stay connected to the therapeutic work between sessions.
   For many people, one hour a week or every other week is just not going to cut it in terms of the level of support we need. If you are processing trauma, managing anxiety, or simply going through a particularly hard time, it’s worth considering ways to care for yourself and connect back to the therapeutic work in between sessions. If you miss a week of therapy or are on a biweekly cadence, consider adding in something like acupuncture, a mindfulness practice, or a journaling exercise. Even with regular therapeutic support, sometimes we need other intentional ways to stay connected to and accountable for the work we’re doing in therapy. I encourage my clients to find ways to touch into our work between sessions, through other intentional practices and spaces for reflection or care. 

7. Talk about the hard stuff.
   Therapy really is a unique space for talking about the hard stuff of our lives. For some clients, it can be tempting to gloss over the hard stuff or skip things that feels too upsetting or vulnerable to address. But this is really what the space is for. I want to hear about the wins, the joys, the supports, but I don’t want us to miss key areas where you’re needing more support or a safe space to unpack a hard thing. 

If you need help thinking about how to make good use of therapy, how to organize your time or your mind, or to work towards focused goals, don’t be afraid to ask for help with this. I find especially first-time therapy clients might need a little help to consider how therapy works and how to make sure it’s working well for them. If you’re reading this as a woman and it’s been hard to figure out how to take space for yourself or find the support you need, I hope you’ll reach out about how therapy for women might help.