Recognizing the signs of high-functioning depression
You might appear like you’re functioning just fine––going to work, sleeping, eating, taking care of your family, etc. But inside you may be struggling, feeling down and disconnected from yourself and others. High-functioning depression may be hard to recognize because from the outside, it may look like you’re ok. You may even feel missed or misunderstood by others because outwardly you seem good, and they don’t realize you’re not quite yourself and would benefit from additional support.
I see this type of depression especially in my work with female clients, many of whom have jobs and families that require their higher levels of functioning. When there is a strong external need, especially if it involves taking care of others, like kids or aging parents, this can sometimes override some of the more commonly recognized signs and symptoms of depression, like not taking care of yourself or not engaging in daily activities.
Signs that you might be struggling more than you realize
How can we recognize the signs and symptoms of high-functioning depression? Let’s outline some of the indicators that you might be struggling:
Sadness: This is a known and more obvious symptom of depression, but notice if your sadness feels constant, like it’s with you most days
Overwhelm: With so much high-functioning, so much to keep track of, and an internal world that may not be getting the care and support it needs, it’s not uncommon to feel overwhelmed.
Fatigue: Do you find yourself getting a full-night’s sleep but still feeling fatigued? This may be more mood-related than a function of poor sleep.
Difficulty making decisions: Decision-making is a function of the brain’s pre-frontal cortex and requires more energy. If you’re depressed, it may be hard to discern what you want or need and contribute to the feeling of overwhelm.
Hiding or minimizing emotions: This may be the most significant of the signs of high-functioning depression, which is by nature, overriding your emotional needs. Often times just beginning to recognize and name the emotions that you feel can start to feel like a relief.
Disconnection and isolation: Are you spending time with others but not feeling very connected to them? Do you find yourself opting for time alone instead of socializing because of how exhausting it is to mask your depression?
Numbing: In order to soothe the distressing or uncomfortable feelings inside, you might find yourself using alcohol, food, TV, or doom-scrolling to number your emotions. This is a way we might attempt to cope with how we feel, but doesn’t effectively care for or support our mental well-being.
If you recognize any of these signs or symptoms in yourself, you might be suffering from high-functioning depression. Maybe you’re doing all the things, taking care of the people and accomplishing daily tasks, but inside you may really be struggling. So many of the women I work with in my practice have fallen into this category. And some don’t realize it until they’ve reached a breaking point. It takes slowing down long-enough to recognize what’s happening and reaching out for more care and support for yourself.
Get help before you reach your breaking point
I often use the metaphor of the advice we get on an airplane: if cabin pressure changes and oxygen masks are released, put your mask on first before helping anyone else. Quite frankly, if you’re unconscious, you’re no good to anyone else. In a mental health context, you can’t help care and support others, even your children, if you’re not well-enough yourself. And we so often try, often leading to burnout. If this resonates with you, I hope you’ll reach out about how therapy for women can help support high-functioning depression and feelings of overwhelm.